Farm Wifey: 5 Keys
As we head into another busy season and my first planting season being married to a farmer, I’ve been thinking about the best farm wife advice my husband has ever given me. During these crazy, unpredictable times, it’s best to go back to the basics. I think that these 5 keys my husband gave me during our very first busy farm season as a couple still remain true, not just on the farm, but in everyday life.
1. Love- Love your husband through all the hardships, stressers and unpredictable circumstances. Love your family. Lean into your support system of friends and family during the times your spouse is busy with farm work. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from the ones you love. Also don’t forget how much your husband loves you and cares for you, even during the busy times; it’s sometimes harder for him to demonstrate it, but it’s always there.
2. Be Patient- “Love is Patient.” Circumstances and situations are constantly evolving on the farm, especially during planting and harvest. Patience is definitely a necessary virtue for a farm wife. Be patient with your husband when he doesn’t always have precise details or a plan in place. Be patient when he doesn’t respond to text messages or calls right away. He isn’t ignoring you; he is simply just doing his job safely under tight time restraints. Be patient with yourself, it's okay to have a hard time during the busy seasons and not always respond perfectly to every situation. You don’t always have to provide the perfect field meal or hide all your emotions when times are tough. Give yourself grace, you're doing the best you can. There is no perfect farm wife, perfect wife or perfect mom in general.
3. Be Flexible- This might be the most important thing to remember as a farm wife. I have become a lot more flexible since being with a farmer. Again, plans are constantly changing. It’s hard to always be prepared for things to change. You never really know what will happen, and when you will be needed to move equipment, give a ride or run for parts. It’s very difficult to commit to any plans or events, and you always have to be prepared to go by yourself (though this particular planting season, everyone will be at home). I definitely still struggle with the uncertainty and constant changes, but I am working to exercise my flexibility and roll with the punches. It’s definitely an adventure on the farm.
4. Forgive- During the busy seasons on the farm, we all fall short. Tempers and patience eventually run short. Words fail. Emotions come out. A big part of marriage is learning to continually forgive your spouse like Christ constantly forgives us. We will all mess up. It’s important to offer your spouse, your kids, whoever the gift of forgiveness and not be afraid to admit when we mess up as well. Forgiveness allows us to continue to move forward in the midst of tough times.
5. Love- Yes, my husband said love twice. Love is two of the five keys. It all comes back to love. Love your spouse during the busy farm seasons. Think of how you can each share that love in unique ways during the times you are apart. Little notes, texts, phone calls, tractor rides. Maybe make plans for a fun special event, date or getaway when things get a little more normal. Remind yourself of the reasons you love your husband and this lifestyle.
I really think my husband had some wisdom with these 5 keys, and they have stuck with me since the day he jokingly suggested them to me. This spring, with all the uncertainty in the world and farming, let’s go back to the basics.
Love, Be Patient, Be Flexible, Forgive, and Love.